She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
