You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
