Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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