When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
