I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
