I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
