he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i drank out of a bidet.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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