saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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