when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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