Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
