Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
