Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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