I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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