yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
honey bunches of taint.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
