you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
