That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
please come you make the beer taste better
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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