omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
