The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
