everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
