I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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