Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
