btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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