i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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