It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
