No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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