So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize