It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I need help removing her.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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