How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
