Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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