I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Let's get the cat blown out
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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