So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
