Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
