Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i think i just lost a toe
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
