lets start a swedish sibling band together
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The uberlube is also flammable
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
