it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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