Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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