Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
