Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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