THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
