I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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