After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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