How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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