Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
