You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
