i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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