i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
