if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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