I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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