Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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