I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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