I want to make a zoo with you.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
