I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
