worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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